


The whole idea of it makes me feel
like I’m coming down with something,
something worse than any stomach ache
or the headaches I get from reading in bad light-
a kind of measles of the spirit,
a mumps of the psyche,
a disfiguring chicken pox of the soul.
You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my bed and remember every digit.
At four I was an Arabian wizard.
I could make myself invisible
by drinking a glass of milk a certain way.
At seven I was a soldier, at nine a prince.
But now I am mostly at the window
watching the late afternoon light.
Back then it never fell so solemnly
against the side of my tree house,
and my bicycle never leaned against the garage
as it does today,
all the dark blue speed drained out of it.
This is the beginning of sadness, I say to myself,
as I walk through the universe in my sneakers.
It is time to say good-bye to my imaginary friends,
time to turn the first big number.
It seems only yesterday I used to believe
there was nothing under my skin but light.
If you cut me I could shine.
But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,
I skin my knees. I bleed.
~Billy Collins “On Turning Ten”



No matter how hard you try to be what you once were, you can only be what you are here and now. Time hypnotizes. When you’re nine, you think you’ve always been nine years old and will always be. When you’re thirty, it seems you’ve always been balanced there on that bright rim of middle life. And then when you turn seventy, you are always and forever seventy. You’re in the present, you’re trapped in a young now or an old now, but there is no other now to be seen.
~ Ray Bradbury, Dandelion Wine




Some people turn sad awfully young. No special reason, it seems, but they seem almost to be born that way. They bruise easier, tire faster, cry quicker, remember longer and, as I say, get sadder younger than anyone else in the world. I know, for I’m one of them.
~Ray Bradbury, Dandelion Wine


Some reflections on moving from one decade of life to the next:
Turning ten is a big deal, no going back to single digits.
Turning twenty is a bid goodbye to a fleeting childhood.
Turning thirty is down to business of family, job and debt.
Turning forty is a mid-life muddle, a surging forth into the second half.
Turning fifty is settling in while finding the nest emptying.
Turning sixty is grateful hope for a fruitful third life trimester.
Turning seventy is just around the corner – there is no other now.
Turning eighty, ninety or hundred would be pure gift of grace.
I hope once again, as when I was nine,
I might only bleed out rays of light when cut –
I pray these final decades shine bright with meaning and purpose.
I like to cry. After I cry hard it’s like it’s morning again and I’m starting the day over.
~Ray Bradbury, Dandelion Wine
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