Whose Beauty is Past Change

Glory be to God for dappled things –
   For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;
      For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches’ wings;
   Landscape plotted and pieced – fold, fallow, and plough;
      And áll trádes, their gear and tackle and trim.

All things counter, original, spare, strange;
   Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
      With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
                                Praise him.

~Gerard Manley Hopkins “Pied Beauty”

The unconventional and unnoticed beauty,
freckled, spare and strange–
helps me feel beautiful too. 
The interplay of light and shadow
within every moment of our existence,
some moments darker than others,
some brilliant and dazzling.

I try to find the sweet and sour,
knowing I’m capturing my own dappled essence – 
a reflection of the Fathering that loves us
even in our fickleness,
who possibly could know how?

There is no perfection outside of Him;
His reflected beauty, His transfigured face
has no uniformity yet is past changing.

We give Him glory in our imperfection,
through defects and blemishes which
only He can make whole.

Who knows why He does this?
Yet He does.

Glory be.

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Alive and Limber

Deciding whether or not to trust a person
is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree
because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch
or you might simply get covered in sap
and for this reason many people choose
to spend their time alone and indoors

where it is harder to get a splinter.
~Lemony Snicket from The Penultimate Peril

Heaven knows how many trees I’ve climbed…
when my body was still in a climbing way.

How many afternoons, especially Windy ones,

I sat perched on a limb that rose and fell with every invisible blow

Each tree was a green ship in the wind-waves,

every branch a mast

every leafy height a happiness that came without even trying.

I was that alive

and limber

now I walk under them-cool… beloved….

the household of such tall, kind sisters.
~Mary Oliver “Trees”

Don’t you dare climb that tree
or even try, they said, or you will be
sent way to the hospital of the
very foolish, if not the other one.
And I suppose, considering my age,
it was fair advice.

But the tree is a sister to me, she
lives alone in a green cottage
high in the air and I know what
would happen, she’d clap her green hands,
she’d shake her green hair, she’d
welcome me.  Truly.

I try to be good but sometimes
a person just has to break out and
act like the wild and springy thing
one used to be.  It’s impossible not
to remember 
wild and not want to go back.  So

if someday you can’t find me you might
look into that tree or—of course
it’s possible—under it.

~Mary Oliver, “Green, Green is My Sister’s House,” from A Thousand Mornings

As a child, I was always very cautious about climbing anything, never trusting my judgement or my balance. Perhaps this was because my mother was very fearful about all risk-taking in her children and instilled that caution in me from the start, discouraging me from ever reaching for the sky or dangling from a branch.

So when the neighbor children come with their families for an evening at our farm, I marvel and cringe at them being drawn as if by a magnet to climb the tall big leaf maple tree in our front yard. I imagine this tree has hosted several generations of children who have scrambled over its twisted trunk, sat in its central saddle to catch the view of the surrounding countryside, and reached its upper limits before being called back down by a nervous adult.

No doubt it is a feeling of incredible freedom to be limber enough to scrabble up a rough-barked branch, placing fingers and feet just-so into perfectly placed nooks and crevices.

No doubt being just out of reach of a fretful parent reinforces independence and autonomy.

No doubt there are leafy heights of happiness up there I’ll never know, way high above my head.

Yet here I stand in the cool shade and breezy evening, looking up, wishing I could be alive and limber like them, praying they will safely make their way down without a trip to the ER, while still honoring my mother’s cautioning pleas to keep my two feet well-grounded.

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Gathering the Heavens


With my arms raised in a vee,
I gather the heavens and bring
my hands down slow together,
press palms and bow my head.

I try to forget the suffering,
the wars, the ravage of land
that threatens songbirds,
butterflies, and pollinators.

The ghosts of their wings flutter
past my closed eyes as I breathe
the spirit of seasons, the stirrings
in soil, trees moving with sap.

With my third eye, I conjure
the red fox, its healthy tail, recount
the good of this world, the farmer
tending her tomatoes, the beans

dazzled green al dente in butter,
salt and pepper, cows munching
on grass. The orb of sun-gold
from which all bounty flows.
~Twyla Hansen “Trying to Pray” from Rock. Tree. Bird. 

the thorn
that is heavier than lead—
if it’s all you can do
to keep on trudging—

there is still
somewhere deep within you
a beast shouting that the earth
is exactly what it wanted—

each pond with its blazing lilies
is a prayer heard and answered
lavishly,
every morning,

whether or not
you have ever dared to be happy,
whether or not
you have ever dared to pray.
~Mary Oliver from  “Morning Poem”

A Sabbath sunrise becomes unspoken prayer –
I open my hands and arms to it,
closing my eyes, bowing my head,
giving myself over to silent gratitude.

Gathering up the heavens, the sun moves
from subtle simmer to blazing boil.

I trudge forward every day,
each step in itself a prayer answered;
thankful I can still take a next step,
and a next, until I reach tomorrow
and again after that, I celebrate
there will be a next tomorrow.

Amen.

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Carrying Water

And on those hot afternoons in July,
when my father was out on the tractor
cultivating rows of corn, my mother
would send us out with a Mason jar
filled with ice and water, a dish towel
wrapped around it for insulation.

Like a rocket launched to an orbiting
planet, we would cut across the fields
in a trajectory calculated to intercept—
or, perhaps, even—surprise him
in his absorption with the row and the
turning always over earth beneath the blade.

He would look up and see us, throttle
down, stop, and step from the tractor
with the grace of a cowboy dismounting
his horse, and receive gratefully the jar
of water, ice cubes now melted into tiny
shards, drinking it down in a single gulp,
while we watched, mission accomplished.
~Joyce Sutphen “Carrying Water to the Field”

It was my special responsibility to carry cold water out to my father when he was on the tractor doing field work. Yes, he could have carried a thermos-full along with him all day but then he would not have seen his young daughter walking carefully from the house over the fresh-turned dirt, he would not have an excuse for a short break to wipe the sweat from his face with his bright red kerchief, nor sit and survey the straightness of his furrows. He would not have lifted her up to sit beside him on the tractor, allowing her to “drive”, steering down the rows, curving around the killdeer nests so their young are spared.

Indeed, it was a special responsibility to nurture someone hard at work who doesn’t stop to refill themselves. It happens rarely any more – whether field or factory or family home or even a daily blog like this. What wondrous love to carry water to those who thirst.
What wondrous grace then fills our furrowed lives.

Thank you, faithful readers and supporters,
to you who have carried water to me when I am dry and thirsty.
It convinces me my work here is not in vain;
mission accomplished.

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To Be Willing to Be Dazzled

Still, what I want in my life
Is to be willing
To be dazzled-
To cast aside the weight of facts

And maybe even
To float a little
Above this difficult world.
I want to believe I am looking 

Into the white fire of a great mystery.
I want to believe that the imperfections
are nothing —
that the light is everything —
that it is more than the sum
of each flawed blossom rising and fading. And I do.

~Mary Oliver from “The Pond” from House of Light

Tell all the truth but tell it slant —
Success in Circuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth’s superb surprise
As Lightning to the Children eased
With explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind —
~Emily Dickinson

Who would have thought it possible that a tiny little flower could preoccupy a person so completely that there simply wasn’t room for any other thought?
~ Sophie Scholl 
from At the Heart of the White Rose

There are days we live⠀
as if death were nowhere⠀
in the background; from joy⠀
to joy to joy, from wing to wing,⠀
from blossom to blossom to⠀
impossible blossom, to sweet impossible blossom.⠀

~Li-Young Lee from “From Blossoms”

I can’t always handle all the truth all at once, especially when it might hurt. 

It is best for the truth to slowly bring me out of the shadows where I like to hunker down, a tight little bud refusing to open. Truth told slant becomes an illuminating back drop, encouraging me to open up and transform, willing to be dazzled by the light.

And then, perhaps, just maybe, I too may be
dazzling to behold.

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A Crush of Old Sweetness

I’m on my knees among the crisp brown crunch
then stand       in time to see
two boys       slim teens in shorts       white t-shirts
faces glowing       talking quietly
bounce of a tennis ball fading as they pass
and I’m filled again
with a crush of old sweetness
at how giving a moment can be       as it vanishes
the roughened grey branches of the pear
small knobby fingers flung out at every tip
fresh clutch of weeds at my chest

~Rosie King “Again” from Time and Peonies

Sometimes this feeling hits me – like a blow to the chest taking away my breath – how time passes so swiftly. The flow of days takes bare knobby pear branches in March to April’s fragrant buds and blossoms, to May’s swelling fruit to harvest in late summer, then prepared for storage of its sweetness to be consumed in the dark of winter.
Another year and crop of pears gone – just like that.

In a flash of recognition, I try to grasp and clutch this realization to my heart and in one heartbeat it vanishes, leaving a residue of “what was” in the midst of “what is” while on the horizon is “what will be.”

Each year, I place our pears in a bottle (so to speak) –
actually jars and dehydrator –
it is so much easier than preserving the vanishing
hours, days and years.

I breathe in deeply and think:
How much this moment gives and takes.
How crushed I am by its sweetness.

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Such Fear and Fascination

My fuchsia is a middle-aged woman
who’s had fourteen children, and though
she could do it again, she’s rather tired.

All through the summer, new blooms.
I’m amazed. Yet the purple and crimson
have paled. Some leaves are yellowed or withering.

The new buds look weaker and smaller,
like menopause babies. But still
she’s a gallant fine creature performing her function.

– That’s how they talk about women,
and I heard myself using the same sort of language.
Then I understood my love for August:
its exhausted fertility
after glut and harvest.

Out in the garden, playing
at being a peasant forced
to slave until dark with a child on my back

another at the breast and probably
pregnant, I remember
wondering if I’d ever manage

the rites of passage from girl
to woman: fear and fascination

hard to choose between.

Thirty years later, I pick the crumpled flowers
off the fuchsia plant and water it
as if before the shrine
of two unknown grandmothers –
and my mother, who was a fourteenth child.

~Ruth Fainlight “My Fuschia”

Flower in the crannied wall,
I pluck you out of the crannies,
I hold you here, root and all, in my hand,

Little flower – but if I could understand what you are,
root and all in all, I should know what God and man is.
~  Alfred Lord Tennyson
“Flower in the Crannied Wall”

Each fuchsia flower a reminder
of the fear and fascination of
growing up female

Am I root, or am I bud?
Am I stem or am I leaf?
Am I dancing bloom or frail flower?
Am I fruit about to bear seed myself?

Am I still girl, or mother, or graying grandma?

All in all, throughout my life,
I hoped to be a mere reflection
of the Garden’s intended fertile glory;

Like a bulging fuchsia bud,
breaking open into full blossom,
withering on the stem to seed,
and being readied for the fall…

So much fear and fascination
found in fecundity-
to root and bud and bloom again.

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Daisies Follow the Sun

The daisy follows soft the sun,
And when his golden walk is done,
Sits shyly at his feet.
He, waking, finds the flower near.
“Wherefore, marauder, art thou here?”
“Because, sir, love is sweet!”

We are the flower, Thou the sun!
Forgive us, if as days decline,
We nearer steal to Thee, —
Enamoured of the parting west,
The peace, the flight, the amethyst,
Night’s possibility!
~Emily Dickinson

So has a Daisy vanished
From the fields today—
So tiptoed many a slipper
To Paradise away—

Oozed so in crimson bubbles
Day’s departing tide—
Blooming—tripping—flowing
Are ye then with God?

~Emily Dickinson

In the shadow of a metaphor
give me a daisy
because I could hold the daisy
in my hand.

~Patrizia Cavalli

We may be as ephemeral
as the daisies of the field,
but we are not lost to God.

Our hearts swirl and spiral
into the vortex of infinity
that contains only Him.

Growing well, growing strong
The surest signs that you belong
Waited so long
But the time is now
First a bud
Then two blooms
The world will need your presence soon
Wait a while it will be clear how

So be a daisy, daisy
Be like a daisy
Strong yet still innocent and pure
And maybe, just maybe
It’ll be ok
See, there are new beginnings I’m sure
Just stop
But don’t smell the daisies

Spreading joy
Bringing cheer
When there’s so much to be feared
Every petal offering new life
What is faith if not a seed
That’s how you started and it seems
You’ve come so far with nothing to hide

So be a daisy, daisy
Be like a daisy
Strong yet still innocent and pure
And maybe, just maybe
It’ll be ok
See, there are new beginnings I’m sure
Just stop
But don’t smell the daisies

Butterflies, a sign of love
From the heavens up above
It’s no wonder that to you they flock
Others still, you draw near
Most would say they appear
As a sign of endings beauty stops

And some are pushing daisies
While other journeys start
But turning flies to flowers
Takes a special heart

So be a daisy, daisy
Be like a daisy
Strong yet still innocent and pure
And maybe, just maybe
It’ll be ok
See, there are new beginnings I’m sure
Just stop
And maybe smell the daisies

Maybe it’s time that we all smell the daisies
~Bethany Sorenson

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June’s Naïve Light

Your voice, with clear location of June days,
Called me- outside the window. You were there,
Light yet composed, as in the just soft stare
Of uncontested summer all things raise
Plainly their seeming into seamless air.

Then your love looked as simple and entire
As that picked pear you tossed me, and your face
As legible as pearskin’s fleck and trace,
Which promise always wine, by mottled fire
More fatal flashed than ever human grace.

And your gay gift – Oh when I saw it fall
Into my hands, through all that naive light,
It seemed as blessed with truth and new delight
As must have been the first great gift of all.

~Richard Wilbur “June Light”

June, so green, so prolific, can have the feel of the first Garden. Our trees are heavy with growing fruit and, thankfully, none are forbidden. I tread quietly through the sunlit orchard, not wanting to spoil this glad gift of a morning.

Later in the summer, when a ripe pear loosens its grip from the branch and settles into my hands, I will share of its pure grace and taste. With gratitude, I will offer it up, glistening with dew and truth, to you.

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Something Changed in the Night

You wake wanting the dream
you left behind in sleep,
water washing through everything,
clearing away sediment
of years, uncovering the lost
and forgotten. You hear the sun
breaking on cold grass,
on eaves, on stone steps
outside. You see light
igniting sparks of dust
in the air. You feel for the first
time in years the world
electrified with morning.

You know something has changed
in the night, something you thought
gone from the world has come back:
shooting stars in the pasture,
sleeping beneath a field
of daisies, wisteria climbing
over fences, houses, trees.

This is a place that smells
like childhood and old age.
It is a limb you swung from,
a field you go back to.
It is a part of whatever you do.
~Scott Owen “Arrival of the Past”

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean –
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up
and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and
complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly
washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through
the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
~Mary Oliver “A Summer Day”

Because something changed in the night,
so have I ~

I come to kneel in the field,
look at the world from the point of view of the grasshopper,
uncover what I may have lost or forgotten
in the midst of years of striving:

a chance to witness what I missed.

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