Category: certainty

We wove hip-high field grass 
into tunnels 

knotting the tops 
of bunched handfuls the drooping 
heads tied together. 

My seven siblings and I 
sheltered ourselves

inside these labyrinths 
in a galaxy of grasses.
~Heather Cahoon “Shelter”

As a child I enjoyed exploring our hay field to find the tallest patch of grass. There, like a dog turning circles before a nap, I’d trample down the waving stems that stretched up almost to my eyes, and create a grass nest, cozy enough for just me. 

I’d lie down in this green fortress, gazing up at the blue sky, and watch the clouds drift lazily by. I’d suck on a hollow stem or two, to savor the bitter grass juice. Scattered around my grassy cage, attached to the broad grass stems, would be innumerable clumps of white foam. I’d tease out the hidden green spittle bugs with their little black eyes from their white frothy bubble encasement. I hoped to watch them make foam, to actually see them in action doing what they do best, but they would leap away.

The grassy nest was a time of retreat from the world by being buried inside the world. I felt protected, surrounded, encompassed and free –at least until I heard my mother calling for me from the house, or a rain shower started, driving me to run for cover, or my dog found me by sniffing out my green path.

It has been years since I hid in a grass fort or tried to defroth spit bugs. I am overdue, I’m sure.

Over twenty years ago, on a spring morning, I was driving into work on one of our county’s rural two-lane roads, savoring a grumbly mood and wishing I was heading somewhere else on a bright and sunny day. My mind was busy with the anticipation of the workday when I noticed a slight shift to the right over the fog line by the driver in the car ahead of me. Suddenly I realized why, in a moment of stark clarity. 

An empty gravel truck and trailer rig was approaching as it came over a hill, its driver seemingly unaware his huge trailer was starting to whip back and forth behind him. As the huge rig approached me, the trailer was coming back to my side of the road at a nearly ninety degree angle from the truck, filling up the entire lane in front of me. 

I had no choice but to run my car off the road into a grassy field to avoid being hit head-on by the still-attached but runaway trailer. Only by chance were there no deep ditches at that particular point in the road. My car dove right into tall grass, enfolded in a shroud of green, shielding me from a tangle of metal and certain death. 

It was a near miss, but a miss nonetheless.

I sat still for a moment, gathering my wits and picking up what was left of my frayed nerves from where they been strewn about. All I could see in front and around me was grass, just like my little childhood fortresses. 

It was very tempting to stay right there, hidden away in the safety of the grass, as if I had been a spittle bug wrapped in a foam cocoon, my heart racing with the relief of still being alive.

Instead I was able to drive out of the grassy field, and go on to work to do what I had been grumbling about that day, abruptly made aware of the privilege of having a life to live, a job to go to, and a grassy field perfectly situated to swallow me up into safety.

It was only later, as I called my husband about what had taken place, that I wept. Until then, I couldn’t stop smiling. I felt encased in liquid bubble wrap, foam-protected by One bigger and stronger, in whose image I had been made.