Holes in the shape of stars
punched in gray tin, dented,
cheap, beaten by each
of her children with a wooden spoon.
Noodle catcher, spaghetti stopper,
pouring cloudy rain into the sink,
swirling counter clockwise
down the drain, starch slime
on the backside, caught
in the piercings.
Scrubbed for sixty years, packed
and unpacked, the baby’s
helmet during the cold war,
a sinking ship in the bathtub,
little boat of holes.
Dirt scooped in with a plastic
shovel, sifted to make cakes
and castles. Wrestled
from each other’s hands,
its tin feet bent and re-bent.
Bowl daylight fell through
onto freckled faces, noon stars
on the pavement, the universe
we circled aiming jagged stones,
rung bells it caught and held.
~Dorianne Laux “My Mother’s Colander”
Many of my mother’s kitchen things, some over eighty years old, are still packed away in boxes that I haven’t had the emotional wherewithal to open. They sit waiting for me to sort and purge and save and weep.
It is as if I haven’t wanted to say goodbye after her death at age 88, now seventeen years ago.
This particular kitchen item- her old dented metal colander – found its way to me when I moved into my first apartment some 49 years ago. She had purchased a bright green plastic colander at a Tupperware party so she felt the old metal one was somehow outdated, overworked and plain, and ready for retirement.
It had held hundreds of pounds of rinsed garden vegetables during my childhood, had drained umpteen pasta noodles, had served as a sifter in our sandbox, and a helmet for many a pretend rocket launch to infinity and beyond.
Dented and battered, it still works fine, thank you very much, for all intended and some unintended purposes. It does make me wonder what other treasures may surprise me as I begin to open and sort my mother’s boxes. Her things have remained in suspended animation, waiting to be rediscovered.
I know there will be tons of tupperware, carefully saved yogurt containers with lids, and quite likely a hoard of pickle jars. As a child of the depression, she saved anything that could be potentially used again.
Perhaps these items have waited patiently to be touched lovingly and with distinct purpose as they once were, and be remembered for the part they played in one woman’s long sacrificial and faith-filled life.
Maybe, just maybe, it will feel like I’ve unpacked Mom once again and maybe this time it can be both a hello and a goodbye.
To infinity and beyond…
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