A Weary Hope

Yesterday it was still January and I drove home
and the roads were wet and the fields were wet
and a palette knife


had spread a slab of dark blue forestry across the hill.
A splashed white van appeared from a side road
then turned off and I drove on into the drab morning


which was mudded and plain

and there was a kind of weary happiness
that nothing was trying to be anything much and nothing
was being suggested. I don’t know how else to explain


the calm of this grey wetness with hardly a glimmer of light or life,
only my car tyres swishing the lying water,
and the crows balanced and rocking on the windy lines.
~Kerry Hardie “Acceptance”

For some time I thought there was time
and that there would always be time
for what I had a mind to do
and what I could imagine
going back to and finding it
as I had found it the first time
but by this time I do not know
what I thought when I thought back then

there is no time yet it grows less
there is the sound of rain at night
arriving unknown in the leaves
once without before or after
then I hear the thrush waking
at daybreak singing the new song
~W.S.Merwin ā€œThe New Songā€ from The Moon Before Morning, 2014

I leant upon a coppice gateĀ 
Ā Ā Ā Ā When Frost was spectre-gray,
And Winter’s dregs made desolate
Ā Ā Ā Ā The weakening eye of day.
The tangled bine-stems scored the sky
Ā Ā Ā Ā Like strings of broken lyres,
And all mankind that haunted nigh
Ā Ā Ā Ā Had sought their household fires.


The land’s sharp features seemed to be
Ā Ā Ā Ā The Century’s corpse outleant,
His crypt the cloudy canopy,
Ā Ā Ā Ā The wind his death-lament.
The ancient pulse of germ and birth
Ā Ā Ā Ā Was shrunken hard and dry,
And every spirit upon earth
Ā Ā Ā Ā Seemed fervourless as I.


At once a voice arose among
Ā Ā Ā Ā The bleak twigs overhead
In a full-hearted evensong
Ā Ā Ā Ā Of joy illimited;
An aged thrush, frail, gaunt, and small,
Ā Ā Ā Ā In blast-beruffled plume,
Had chosen thus to fling his soul
Ā Ā Ā Ā Upon the growing gloom.


So little cause for carolings
Ā Ā Ā Ā Of such ecstatic sound
Was written on terrestrial things
Ā Ā Ā Ā Afar or nigh around,
That I could think there trembled through
Ā Ā Ā Ā His happy good-night air
Some blessed Hope, whereof he knew
Ā Ā Ā Ā And I was unaware.

~Thomas Hardy “The Darkling Thrush”

photo by Josh Scholten
artwork of The Darkling Thrush by Linda Richardson

I need reminding that what I offer up from my own heart predicts what I receive there.

If I’m grumbling and falling apart like a dying vine
instead of a vibrant green tree~~~
coming up empty and hollow with discouragement,
entangled in the soppy cobwebs and mildew of worry,
only grumbling and grousing~~~
then no singing bird will come.

It is so much better to nurture the singers of joy and gladness with a heart budding with grace and gratitude, anticipatory and expectant.

I’ve swept my welcome mat; it is out and waiting.
The symphony can begin any time now…

AI image created for this post
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