Waiting in Wilderness: The Voice of Morning Crowed

because we are all
betrayers, taking
silver and eating
body and blood and asking
(guilty) is it I and hearing
him say yes
it would be simple for us all
to rush out
and hang ourselves

but if we find grace
to cry and wait
after the voice of morning
has crowed in our ears
clearly enough
to break out hearts
he will be there
to ask us each again
do you love me?

~Luci Shaw “Judas, Peter” from Polishing the Petoskey Stone

Like Peter, I know the guilt of denying Him
when questioned by those who would hurt me too.
Like Judas, I think I know a better way
because His way costs so much.

The morning crows the truth.

Like any one of us capable of betrayal,
He knows my breaking heart better than I know myself:
He knows everything about me
including how much
I love Him despite my brokenness.

One thought on “Waiting in Wilderness: The Voice of Morning Crowed

  1. This one digs deep.
    A subject not often mentioned or confronted.
    The one thing that I recall so clearly about Peter’s denial
    is what he did afterwards – running away, hiding, still in
    denial. I cannot imagine by any means of human understanding
    how his whole being was wrenched by sobs – his soul torn asunder.
    What suffering! Could he expect his Master, the loving, compassionate
    Jesus, would forgive him. We already know the answer to that!
    We, too, are capable of ‘denying’ Him – perhaps without actually
    recognizing it at the time. But our souls know and, eventually, we will
    have to face what we have done…..
    And, like Peter, we, too, will weep, trying to empty our souls of the pain
    that we feel when we ask His forgiveness. He was, is, and will always be
    exactly what he claimed to be – not only in his patient teaching but in his
    terrifyingly painful ignominious death — a price that he knew that He
    would have to pay — FOR US1

    Liked by 1 person

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