Leave a Trail

photo by Josh Scholten

Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Just like a certain recent U.S. President, my father chose to relax by brush cutting.  Later on in life he enjoyed the still peace and quiet of fishing, but when I was young, his favorite thing to do when he had extra time was to grab his brush hook from the garage, sling it over his shoulder, and head out into our woods.  There he would spend hours whacking away at the undergrowth of a lush Pacific Northwest forest, creating open areas for our cows to graze and making trails through seemingly impenetrable trees, foliage and blackberry patches.

Making trails seemed to give him a sense of control and accomplishment that he rarely felt in his government desk job.  It created huge “brush piles” which became controlled bonfires on “burn” days in late October, reducing to ashes what once had been an impassable mess.

Somehow I found and married a man who also enjoys clearing brush, using that same sixty year old brush hook handle that now bears the sweat marks of two beloved men in my life.

The path for me is clearer after their work is done.   I can now find my way.

photo by Josh Scholten

Watching Over the Fire

Bonfire

Over the course of a summer, we accumulate a brush pile in our attempts to clear/clean various parts of the pasture and woods, trying to stay one step ahead of encroaching blackberry vines and other less than welcome growing things.  Hauling the brush to the brush pile is a whole job in itself, and throwing the stuff on the pile gets more difficult as it grows taller and wider.  Soon we will light our seasonal bonfire, reducing the accumulation to ashes, and wait to start the process again next summer.

There are now legal restrictions on how large a fire can be without a special permit, otherwise there is a “friendly” visit from the fire district volunteers and a hefty fine to pay.  Back on the farm of my youth, my father would build several huge brush piles over the course of the summer, and would burn them simultaneously, taking all day and often part of the night to supervise the fires and make sure they did not stray beyond their intended boundaries. This was a highly anticipated autumn event for us children, as we would help to “feed” the fire and help tend its borders, staying up late with our father until he felt it was safe to return to the house.

There is something very primeval about a fire in the open.  There is the knowledge it can rage out of control through flying embers and sparks. The heat can be literally blistering.  It also is protective against the cold of autumn nights and we huddle as near as we can without feeling we will catch on fire as well.

Thirty years ago I remember flying over the continent of Africa from Europe at night, on my way to Tanzania, and throughout the night I would spot fires on the ground, the site of remote villages using the fire as protection and safety where no electricity existed nor would exist for decades to come.

Fire is not always a source of solace and warmth.  Government health officials compare the initial start of a pandemic influenza virus as a “spark” that could ignite an uncontrolled burn if not monitored and stamped out immediately.   This comparison makes sense as one watches the sparks fly from a bonfire, sometimes dissipating in the air, and other times landing and lighting new fires.  It can be beyond our ability to control in a flash, and we rush to catch up with effective vaccines and medications months afterward.

There are always fires in our lives, sometimes leaving behind devastation and ruin, sometimes refining and cleaning up our messes.  Like the brush pile, we need to discard much in our lives that obstruct and bar our progress, or that which has been a source of pain and suffering.  Gathering it up, piling it high and lighting it is sometimes the only way to be free of it.  Yet that fire needs monitoring, or it will burn out of control and all will end up unrecognizable.  There is a fine line between leaving horrific scars and leaving things clean and smooth and open.

So I watch over the embers until they die, just as my father once did.  Somehow, that alone keeps me warm.