Not Ready

leekroots

I need
more of the night before I open
eyes and heart
to illumination. I must still
grow in the dark like a root
not ready, not ready at all.
~Denise Levertov

It takes enduring the darkest night to know to reach out and absorb the light.  Some nights are longer than others, some darker than others.  When I’m growing blindly like a root seeking nurture, wondering where I am and who I am, I’m reminded I’m not ready yet, not ready at all to burst into the light, transparent to all, and to see what is beyond my capacity to understand.

If I dive back under cover, it is due to my lack of courage to face the changes that illumination brings, not my love of the dark.  A root needs to dig a little deeper, to hold on fast when an amazing transformation is taking place in the light.  Someday I may be ready.

Someday.

 

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