As If What Exists

How swiftly the strained honey
of afternoon light
flows into darkness


and the closed bud shrugs off
its special mystery
in order to break into blossom


as if what exists, exists
so that it can be lost
and become precious
~Lisel Mueller
“In Passing” from Alive Together: New and Selected Poems

We lose light so quickly by mid to late afternoon these days. There is no wistful lingering within the descent of evening; the curtain is pulled closed and it is dark — just like that.

I don’t know about you, but I’m having more difficulty adjusting to the loss of daylight this year than any year previously. This is perplexing as the change of seasons is no mystery to me. Somehow I’m feeling a new deprivation beyond the fact that shorter days are simply a part of the annual autumnal routine.

As if –
something precious has been stolen away

as if –
I had any claim to the light to begin with

as if –
I exist only to notice what ceases to exist.

I’m ready for more than just feeling loss.
I’m ready to break into blossom;
to be the light instead of grumbling in the dark.

3 thoughts on “As If What Exists

  1. I love this time of year! Living in Houston, Texas we get plenty of sunshine most of the year so this is a wonderful change. I love the coziness, the gatherings, the intimacy with family. Cooking is way more fun and all the smells of our autumn and the holidays are THE BEST!! Plus the earlier it gets dark the sooner you can see Christmas lights! When I was a little girl back in the late 1960s my parents would not turn on the c6 lights on the live Christmas tree until dusk. Great memories with my dear family!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Just a quick note to thank you for taking the time to do your blog. I have enjoyed it for about a year now – having been directed to it by a friend of mine. The pictures you post are wonderful!
    What you say today really hit the nail on the head – I too am feeling the “darkness” to a greater degree than ever before and have wondered why since fall is normally one of my favorite times with all the golden leaves/light.. Now, I am aging (86) and so the time seems more precious to me and the fact that we cannot gather together to hug/laugh and love due to this darn Covid-19 virus probably is part of this down feeling. Perhaps because of the unusual nastiness of the election combined with the virus issues? In addition I have lost friends to the virus – thus making it very real. Well, good Thanksgiving to you and your family and once again thanks.

    Liked by 2 people

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