Having to Return on Foot

foggy827183
oaklane6

They work with herbs
and penicillin.
They work with gentleness
and the scalpel.
They dig out the cancer,
close an incision
and say a prayer
to the poverty of the skin.

They are not Gods
though they would like to be;

they are only human
trying to fix up a human.
Many humans die.

They die like the tender,
palpitating berries
in November.

But all along the doctors remember:
First do no harm.
They would kiss if it would heal.
It would not heal.

If the doctors cure
then the sun sees it.
If the doctors kill
then the earth hides it.
The doctors should fear arrogance
more than cardiac arrest.
If they are too proud,
and some are,
then they leave home on horseback
but God returns them on foot.
~Anne Sexton “Doctors” from The Awful Rowing Toward God.

harvestmoon

The only wisdom we can hope to acquire is the wisdom of humility; humility is endless.
~T.S. Eliot from East Coker

cloudsandponies2

Let me never forget how humbling it was
to provide care for hurting people
and not be 100% certain what I do
would actually work, though I was trusted
to recommend the best option…

which could include
a tincture of time,
just wait and see,
try this or that.

Or witnessing a vaccine-preventable illness
gallop through a university population,
taking weeks to safely harness and control.

Not unlike other physicians who tumbled off
while racing a pathogen, losing their balance
between overconfidence and humility,
I sometimes found myself unseated and stranded,
having to return on foot to retrace my steps,
reframe my words and hopes and do no harm –
to try once again to make a difference.

sunsettony2
sunsetnatetomomi