And what if I never get it right,
this loving, this giving of the self
to the other? And what if I die
before learning how to offer
my everything? What if, though
I say I want this generous,
indefatigable love, what if
I forever find a way to hold
some corner back? I don’t want
to find out the answer
to that. I want to be the sun
that gives and gives until it burns out,
the sea that kisses the shore
and only moves away so that
it might rush up to kiss it again.
~ Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer, “And Again” from Hush
What is it about us
that always holds something back
when loving others,
keeping in reserve
some little piece of ourselves
that we can’t quite let go?
Even so, we ourselves want to be loved
wholly, fully, completely, unconditionally
yet something in us doesn’t trust
it could be true –
we know how undeserving we are.
When we are offered such
generous indefatigable love,
we hold back part of ourselves
because we are afraid
we’ll be left desolate, never to be filled again –
a sun burned out and darkened,
a shore left high and dry.
Once we experience our Creator’s love
as wholly generous,
completely tireless and persistent,
we can stop fearing our emptiness.
He pours more than enough love into us
without holding back,
filling us so full that we might spill over to others,
again and again and again,
with our light and heart and spirit unbound.
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